it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
