why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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