my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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