she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I forget how to act sober
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