Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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