What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
