just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
