kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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