"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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