If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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