Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Let the clothes fall where they may.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
