Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
