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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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