Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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