and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize