2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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