I'm really into asian looking animals
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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