so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
home. puking in laundry basket.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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