he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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