Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
