was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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