I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
