dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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