She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
