There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
