Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize