The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
