I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
