When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
