Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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