hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
