god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
