it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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