Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
