just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize