Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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