I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
