I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
