she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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