Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
