is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Randomize
