I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
