just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I came so hard my ears popped.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
