I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
