your room smells of hookers.
And success
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
