sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
