Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
