chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize