its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
