hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
