The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
