That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
