lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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