Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
id be glad to
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Text me some of your sweat
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
