You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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