Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
