My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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