first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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